KAG - Snapshots

Check out my Volcom blog here to see some photos from last week's Keep Austin Generous fundraiser with Broken Gold. Thanks, friends, for supporting a great cause. Me love you, for real.

Tonight, Tonight!

This is happening tonight. If I don't see you there I will cry and cry for days. I mean it, cry big tears. The fun starts around 8, Broken Gold goes on around 9. We will have plenty of mistletoe to get your creepy on, and a Santa to get real creepy with. Freebirds will also be selling some food with the proceeds going to Keep Austin Generous. Come on!


Happy Holidays!

My First Communion

This shit.

"Hi, I'm here to get my daughter's photo taken for her First Communion."

"....."

"Do you have any other veils she could try on? I'm not sure this one is staying on her head."

"Ma'am, this is Sears, we don't have veils for children."

I remember this photo experience so vividly. Welcome to My Catholic Life in San Antonio, Texas. In this episode, mom douses little tomboy in holy water, feathers her unfortunate hair, dresses her up in a starched, lacey, borderline inappropriate number, and drags her ass to Sears to make some holy memories.

I put this dress on and instantly felt like the lace was going to burn off my skin. It was itchy, uncomfortable, and everything I hated about girly clothes, which is why the lovely collar is stretched out. I was pulling on it relentlessly and grunting throughout the entire Sears experience. And, thanks to my mother jabbing those odd veil prongs on the side of my head to make my virginal veil stay put, I have had to deal with a lifelong issue of Big Head.

I will give my mother credit for trying her best. She put that nice pearl cross around my neck, perfectly placed my holy first communion pin on my lace bib, and added a dab chapstick to my lips to bring the whole look together. Don't I look sweet? Maybe a little twisted? I look at that face, and it makes me laugh. Mainly, because I know what I was thinking then and what I think now are pretty much the same, save for a few more expletives then. I'm much more demure now. 

I kind of miss that show, it was a short lived series, with a ton of hijinks. You know, I think there is a follow up coming out, Fallen Catholic in Austin, TX, but it's only being shown on Cinemax, so call your local cable provider. Or, call me, I know a dude that can hook up your cable for $50 flat - one time fee. No joke.

Let's Give Back

I smell Santa coming! This year I've decided to throw a holiday party, everyone loves a holiday party. You get all gussied up, take borderline inappropriate photos with your co-workers, nosh on some goodies, and sit on Santa's lap (or, your creepy Uncle Tio's lap), and everyone's happy. I love all these things, however, this year I thought I would do something extra, something special for the city I love so much, and the people I love so much, which is why I have decided to partner with Keep Austin Generous, The Blackheart, Freebirds, and the dudes with Broken Gold to throw a party all in the name of giving back. 

Keep Austin Generous is a new organization with a big heart, and a great mission. They are aiming to spread the love to as many local charities by encouraging everyone - retailers, individuals, reastaurants, and other organizations - to get involved and do something. Austin is a damn great city to live and I want to make it better by helping each and every one of our friends here. On Dec. 20, you can do your part. Come to The Blackheart for some holiday cheer all in the name of giving. Donations at the door will go to Keep Austin Generous, as will the proceeds from the food provided by Freebirds. Check out the KAG page to learn more about their giving model.

I know it's a school night on Thursday so go ahead and call in on Friday because we are going to get real shitty. We're getting shitty all in the name of giving, so it's ok, let's do it.

Holiday Teaser

Something's-a-brewin'! There is a holiday party happening next week, a really RAD holiday party I am throwing with some friends. Not only will it be a rowdy gathering filled with food, holiday cheer, tunes, and mistletoe but it's for a good cause. Austin, if there is a holiday party to attend, this is it. Everyone is welcome, bring your party best and spread the love. There will be more info coming in the next few days. Stay tuned......

Hair Good, Bald Bad - Men's Edition

That's it. I'm throwing my hands up in the air real dramatic-like. Dudes, please explain to me why some of you continue to shave your man hair off. I object, I protest, I'm starting a petition, and you're grounded. I am going to go ahead and speak for all women (right, ladies?) when I say that is some pansy shit. A smooth chest and legs are reserved for me, not you. Grow it, pet it, trim it if you have to, but for fuck's sake, don't shave a damn thing from the neck down. This is just a rule that we ladies have put in the bible according to, well, me. When in doubt, look to the man with the most heavenly man fuzz. It's like a massive hypoallergenic down comforter, and I need a nap.

File this one under hungover Sunday thoughts.

Mice and Rifles Release it on Saturday

Saturday it's going down. Hips will be a-shakin', titties will be a-bouncin', and beers will be a-guzzlin' all in the name of the new EP being released from those good ol' boys, Mice and Rifles. If you haven't seen these dudes, you should. They are like the Texas Hill Country wrapped in bacon, marinated in Lone Star, then slow-cooked for at least 16 hours. You know, all the things we all love about our bitchin' state. Little Radar and My Golden Calf also bring the pain at Stubb's on Saturday. It's going to be a good time, bring your whiskey gut, you'll need it.

Anniversary Party With A Secret Show at the Shang!

The Shangri La is having a bitchin' four year anniversary party tomorrow night, and well, you should go. Not only will there be kegs and kegz, a photo booth by Alison Narro, tons of smiling faces, but there is also a secret show, a really FUN secret show. At first, my pea brain was churning with ideas. In my mind, I thought (hoped) the musical guest could be someone like the Texas Tornados reuniting for the holiday's inside the Shang. Somehow I'd hip-check a bitch to make my way front and center to sing Hey, Baby Que Paso as a lady Freddy Fender reincarnate. This is how my brain works. That's not the case, however, the actual musical performers will blow the roof off just the same. They bring the noise, and I'm stoked to see them at the Shangri La. It will be just like my days in college in that sweet, little town in North Texas. Come buy me a shot tomorrow and let's take questionable photos to be blasted on the interwebs the next day. Fun!

On a side note, don't you think the members of the Texas Tornados have the best names ever? Flaco Jimenez, Freddy Fender, and Augie Meyers, just to name a few. Anyone named Augie deserves a hearty motorboat by some brown sugar titties, in my opinion. Happy Anniversary, Shangri La! See you tomorrow!

Babe of the Week!

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for hot tamales. Meet, Cecilia Mireles, this week's hot tamale Babe of the Week! Cecilia warms my little brown heart with her sassy Latina look. You all know how I love me a foxy Latina, especially one with bitchin' style, and a smartypants mouth. Dudes, come on, give this lady a kiss on her dainty brown hand because she is our Babe of the Week!

Hunk of the Week!

Austin dudes and ladies, meet this week's Hunk of the Week, Zach Blair of Rise Against! Zach is a local homie with a sweet face and a sweet heart. Check out his interview below, he drops some exciting news. Is there a Ramones tribute band in the works with him and some of the dudes from Riverboat Gamblers. Say what?! Sign me up, I'm there!! That is going to rule so hard. Ladies, give some wet kisses and tittie shakes to Hunk Zach.

Welcome, Formula One!

"Uh, how do you say, uh, 'Texas girls wild?'"
This, followed by an exaggerated hand movement around the chest area is what I envision Formula One weekend to be like. Jacques here will be cruising for Texas titties this weekend, be careful ladies. Let's ban together and form an Austin city watch, ok? Walk each other to your car, don't get in the back seat of an orange Ferarri, and be sure you keep an eye on your drink.  Like my mom always said, "If a gringo wants to drug you, chingao, that pendejo will." Mom's are wise.

With all the chaos surrounding F1 coming to Austin, I want to give a shout out to my old pal, Nascar. I want her to know I haven't forgotten about her toothless grin, and I hope she will come to Austin as well. Instead of it being a hundred bucks for a martini, we can jack up the price of Bud Light Platinum to $25 a can, and blow the roof off the Hampton Inn downtown. Let's do this!

By the way, I've been doing Jacques' voice for days. I've got this bit down pat!

Fun Fun Fun Fest - Recap in Photos

Well, that was a fucking good time! Chest bump going out to Transmission Events, and everyone involved for bringing the pain this weekend. It was great to see old friends, make some new pals, and check some bitchin' shows. Also, a BIG smooch to my pals at Volcom Entertainment for the love. See you soon, homies! Most of all, I am thankful not once did I see or hear the boner-killing sound of a dude flip-flopping around a festival in his man flops. That, as small as it seems, brought a big smile to my festival loving face. Thank you, Fun Fun Fun Fest!


Here's my weekend.

Mike Weibe of Riverboat Gamblers is taller than all of Austin.
 

 

Dudes at Project Loop's Ride the Plank

 

 

 

 

 

Valient Himself has risen!

 

 

Glory hole.

 

 

Best good friends.

 

 

 

 

Call me.

 

 

This is too cute (and she's a total Babe). 

 You, call me too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crowd at Run DMC

 

 

Run DMC with Jam Master Jay's son.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Get it girl.

 

 

Against Me!

 

 

Friday night show, or ACL invasion? Phew, thankfully it was a show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Big ups to Industry Print Shop

 

 

Father and son Riding the Plank.

 

 

Hope you got a good shot.

 

 

Peelander Z!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man, I love Canada. The cart guy's faceless facial expression says it all.

 

 

Babe.

 

 

 De La Soul.

 

 

Mmmm, men and tacos. Hey Fest, next year can I straddle the taco cannon while you shoot it off?

 

 

 Fists up at Valient Thorr!

 

 

 Representing Austin Facial Hair Club

 

 

 

 

 

The Briefs!

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone on stage at the Riverboat Gamblers show!

 

 

Refused underneath the owl.

 

 

 Refused.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Turbojugend bringing it on Sunday.

 

 

Check out the video bit I captured of Refused here, it rules. Until next year, FFF!

xo