I'm blowing the whistle on some alcohol fuckery, and I'm blowing it loud. Yes, I like to booze. Yes, I am drunk a lot, and, yes, I do know the value of a cocktail. Nothing makes me clench my buttcheeks harder or clutch my pocketbook tighter than a overpriced beverage. The mixology jig is up.
For all you super-serious types who want to talk about snare drums, songwriting and sound boards, I assure you, this is not the article for you. This piece is for the boners in the crowd.
