SXSW - Friday Teaser

The Guero's party last night kicked so much ass. Thanks to The Boxing Lesson for putting everything together, and kicking out the jams with their set, they killed it.

Above is a teaser from yesterday. This little firecracker blew everyone away with her pipes and her skills. She is from the band Purple and she is yesterday's Babe. I will post more later because I am off to this.....

Come say hello and chug a beer. See you there!

SXSW - A Badass Rock Party - Today!

Come on down to Guero's Taco Bar (1412 S. Congress) today to hear my shrill voice host A Badass Rock Party! There will be free Don Julio from 6-9, lots of good times, and I'll also be Hunk and Babe hunting.. See you there!

SXSW - A Badass Rock Party Update!!

Because of the fuzz and those pesky noise ordinance laws, we have had to readjust some of the set times for the show. The following is the updated info for Friday:


815-900 Barb Wire Dolls
730 Syn City Cowboys
645 Purple
600 The Boxing Lesson
515 Gliss
430 Light FM
345 The Art
300 Megafauna
215 Burning Avalanche
130 Rademacher
1245 Hussle Club
1200 Flemish Giant


See you there, and remember to bring your witty and pretty!

SXSW - Hunks and Babes - Wed Edition

Day 1 is down the tubes. I had a great time at the Liberty yesterday, lots of love to them and From the Mind of Adi for a great show. These are some snippets of the day, and the Hunk and Babe of the Party:

SXSW - Today!

The Liberty + You + Me + Music + Transmission = Love Babies.


See YOU there.

SXSW - Hangover Bible

I thought since we will all be in pain at some point this week/weekend, I'd repost this gem of information (original post July 5, 2011). Ladies and gentlemen, I present The Hangover Bible:

For the past two weekends I have been careless with my drinking routine. It feels like I haven't had a hangover in years, now all of a sudden I'm down for the count. I think my dog thought I was dead yesterday morning because I woke up to her licking my face while still in my swimsuit from the previous night swim. Mess, just a mess.

Yesterday I spent the greater half of the day concocting my own hangover remedies, some are pretty impressive and some are gag-worthy (which might be good to yack the demon out of you). I recommend feeling out a few to find your mate.

PediaTits
This combination of Pedialyte and Titos vodka is the perfect match.
12 oz. glass of Orange flavor Pedialyte on ice
2 oz. shot of Titos vodka
Garnish with a orange slice.

The Bubbly Russian
2 Alka Seltzer tablets (3-4 if you are on death's door)
2 oz. vodka of choice
1 oz. Kahlua
splash of cream
Serve over ice and garnish with a chocolate straw.

Pep-O-Jerry
I have cringe worthy memories of being ill as a child and having to take a gulp of Pepto. Just smelling it makes me want to hurl. The Pep-O-Jerry isn't for the weak at heart, but it'll make you bounce back in no time.
3 cap fulls of Pepto
2 shots of Sailor Jerry Rum
Serve in a lowball glass with gumballs instead of ice.

Snowchilada

This might have to be a staple every weekend morning.

Finely grind up 2 Advil, 2 Tylenol, 2 Excedrin

Frosty mug with a spicy celery salt rim

12 oz beer of choice

10 dashes of Tabasco sauce

3 tbs bloody mary mix

Combine all and garnish with 4 rings of pickled jalapenos.

Emetrol Wine Spritzer
2 tbs Emetrol
5 oz. Yellow Tail Cabernet (cheaper the better, don't get all fancy on me when you're just gonna regurgitate it in you toilet).
3 oz Topo Chico
Server over ice and garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

 

These all seem like concoctions that would get you feeling back to tip-top shape by mid-afternoon. If you're put off by these drinks, I get it, perhaps try these options:


Order a chorizo and egg taco from Torchy's with chips and queso. Don't share that shit. This is an order for one. Dip that taco in the queso then toss those chips aside. Get your face in there and just drink it like you drank your shit the night before. That'll teach you.

Ok, time to get personal. Take that time in the shower or first thing waking up and have a good masturbation session. If you want to speed up the recovery, dudes, chug a Gatorade right before gettin' at it. Ladies, just pour a glass on your vagina, why not? That seems logical. The combination of the two is a sure fire cure.

Lastly, put on them tennies and hit the trail. I know it's fucking hot out but that will work to your advantage, expediting your hurl. Please be sure to grab one of those doggie poop bags to clean up your vomit (because you will vomit there), let's keep our lakes and rivers clean.


You're welcome.

SXSW - Let's Get Down To Brass Tacks

Is it just me, or are your eyeballs about to pop out of your head from the overload of SXSW parties and shows? My abuelita pea brain has been screaming trying to keep up with my Twitter and Facebook feed. There are parties on top of parties. Damn. Don't get me wrong, this is all fun and I'm looking forward to kicking out the jams with all of you, but how do you know which party to go to? I'm sure a lot of you are scoping out the free beer, free shows, free food, free everything, as am I, those are always fun...so is trying your damnedest to get into that strictly badge-only show (that's when the areola makes a SXSW cameo).

Here's what I know. Here's where you'll find me. There are some reoccurring bands, I know, if you can't make it one day, you have another shot. If you think I should be at a show, or I am missing out on something, please message me. Check it:

Tues. March 13
Shop! Vans & Nice Kicks present Vulcanized Vinyl. There will be limited edition Vans being sold: Slayer, Descendents, Bad Religion, Iron Maiden, and Social Distortion.
Pop up shop: 313 1/2 E. 6th Street, noon - midnight.

Shop! Vintage Clothing Arcade will be at Valhalla (710 Red River St.) from 3/12 - 3/14. Vintage clothes, games, music, booze. Get it.


Wed. March 14

South by East by West party day party (12 - 8 pm) at The Liberty (1618 1/2 E. 6th St.). Hey, I'll be there!

My baby daddy, Andrew W.K., at the Brooklyn Vegan showcase. Bar 96 (96 Rainey St.), 12:00 am. AND at 101X party (1100 Warehouse) 6:00 pm.

The traveling Third Man Rolling Record Store, 3/14 - 3/17. Follow on Twitter to find out where they will be throughout Austin.

Fried Chicken and Alejandro Escovedo. Lucy's Fried Chicken (2218 College Ave.) in the '04. 5:00 pm.

Austin Facial Hair Club party at The Grackle (100 E. 6th St.) starts today, runs through 3/17.


Thurs March 15
Ringo Deathstarr at Brooklyn Vegan compound - Hotel Vegas & Volstead Lounge (1500 E. 6th St.), 2:30 pm.

Live4Ever Media Presents A Two Finger Salute II party at ND at 501 Studios. UK rock.

MWTX! party starts 3/15, and runs through 3/17. Cults play at 5:00 pm. (1300 E. 5th St.)

My baby daddy, Andrew W.K., will be at The Scoot Inn, Impose day party. (1308 E. 4th St.)

Jesus and Mary Chain! Paste showcase at the Belmont, 12:00 am.

Astronautalis at Mike Galaxy  day party, Guero's Taco Bar (1412 S. Congress), 9:20 pm.

Billy Joe Shaver at SXSan Jose day party. In between Jo's Coffee  and Hotel San Jose (1300 S. Congress), 7:00 pm. Bring your flask of whiskey. Yehaw.

Riverboat Gamblers opening up for Tenacious D at the Haven (409 Colorado St.), 10:30 pm.

Valient Thorr at Ten Oak (409 Colordao St.), 1:00 am.



Friday March 16

Let's be real with it, this is going to be so fucking fun. Hosted by ME with FREE Don Julio from 6 - 9 pm, and Tito's and Cazadores drink specials. All rock and roll, all goddamn day. The beauty is that there is a bus stop that drops you right in front of Guero's from downtown. Responsible drunks unite!

After A Badass Rock Party, there are quite a few good shows going on, some require wristbands:

Waterloo Records day party. The Cult plays at 6:00 pm (600 N. Lamar)

Japan Nite at the Elysium! You know this shit will be a blast. (705 Red River)

SPIN  party at Stubb's (801 Red River) featuring Santigold. She makes me want to shake my titties.

Workaholics House Party presented by Comedy Central, Icenhauer's (83 Rainey St.).

Built to Spill at Lustre Pearl (97 Rainey St.), 11:00 pm.

Jack White at Third Man Records showcase at The Stage on 6th (508 E. 6th St.), 11:45 pm. Also performing: Karen Elson, Pujol, and Black Belles.


Sat. March 17

Let's get shitty. First stop: Jackalope (404 E. 6th) for the Free Beer Party. Riverboat Gamblers, Valient Thorr, Volcom, and ME!

If you are still sober, the Austin Facial Hair Club party at The Grackle is going to rule. Electric Eel Shock (4:40 pm) and Peelander Z (6:25 pm) will blow your socks off. Get there.

Waterloo Records day party. Strange Boys plays at 3:00 pm (600 N. Lamar)



Other Notes:
Tonight is the Jay-Z show at 7:00 pm CST. Watch it live via YouTube or at the corner of 6th and Red River.

March 15, The Boss will be giving the keynote speech. You can listen on NPR live. He is also playing a small show, good luck getting into that. I foresee massive hair pulling and pushing happening. That, and some random dude I'll talk to on Friday who will tell me he just happened to stumble into the show, no big deal. Dick.

Remember there are a ton of street closures happening downtown (duh), and on Rainey St. Walk your ass, bike your ass, or bus your ass. Just don't drive, it will just piss you off.

Tito's Vodka is having Tito's Trolley that will cart you around a route downtown for free from 2:00 - 9:00 pm March 9 - 17. Follow them on Twitter: #TitosTrolley to find out their location, and for updates.

If you are a registered SXSWer, you can Catch a Chevy. From 9:00 am - 10:00 pm if you see a Chevy with a SXSW badge on either side, flag it down. Home base for Catch a Chevy is at the Austin Convention Center.


Phew, I hope this helps. Just remember, don't be a dick, don't be a sloppy drunk, and tip the bartenders even if it's a free show! Also, check back over the next week because I will be posting photos and interviews incessantly, who knows, you might see your mug on here. Say cheese!

SXSW - Hunk of the Week!

Name:  Mike Wiebe
Occupation:  Musician/Writer (so I'm actually a bartender)
Single: I recently started dating Taylor Swift, but I wouldn't consider it serious. The main issues are our age difference and the restraining order.
Age: 36, but extremely immature

SXSW - Babe of the Week!

And the madness begins. To kick off SXSW right, I have a hot piece of lady love to wet your whistle. I ran in to this dame at The Mohawk and she was a pleasant burst of energy from the get-go. I hope you see her around town this week. Bow to her, she is the first SXSW Babe of the Week, Tiff Dyess.

Name:  Tiff Dyess
Occupation: Freelance Producer, Co-Owner No Comply Skate Shop
Age: 33
Single? Yes

What is your deal breaker?
Agressive trivia nerds are just the worst.

What is your deal maker?
Love me an unavailable man child with little to no financial resources.
I'm naturally nurturing and live for a good challenge, so let me play Wendy to your Peter Pan.

What do you love most about Austin?
How over matched all the men are. Dudes in this town don't stand a chance. But it's sad for the girls though, we could all do better if you ask me. Maybe if the dudes just tried a little harder, you know, make themselves a little more worthy of living in this paradise, blessed with beautiful goddesses at every turn.

Where do you like to hang out? So Miss Austin fans can stalk you...
No Comply Skate Shop, The Woodland, Black Swan Yoga, Frank.

I love old music videos, it's a shame they aren't what they used to be. Which music video would you say speaks to you the most, and why?
Nushooz "I Can't Wait"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_Yx0X-eHn8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Who do you feel most akin to? Bruce Stringsteen? Groucho Marx? Lyle Lovett? Freddy Fender? Charo? John Wayne? Someone else?
Goldie Hawn. Classic manic pixie dream girl complex.

Anything else we should know about you? Arrest record? Fetishes? Bastard Children? Secret crushes?
I'm usually not this sarcastic, but I had to get a little buzzed to deal with the idea of being Babe of the Week. Sarcasm is like, my third favorite -asm, after org- and protoplasm.

SXSW - Dehydrated at a Badass Rock Party Part 3

YES! We're going to blow the roof off South Congress! Friday March 16 from noon - 10:00 pm, Slacker Magazine and The Boxing Lesson present A Badass Rock Party at Guero's Taco Bar (1412 S. Congress Austin, TX 78704). I will be hosting the event ALL DAY and have my team scouting for Hunks and Babes of the Party, as well as, Deal Maker and Deal Breaker interviews. Bring the pretty, people! Who knows, I might bring you on stage, well, I probably will bring you on stage, so count on it. We are going to have Tito's and Cazadores drink specials all day, and FREE Don Julio from 6-9 pm. Holy shit!!! I honestly hope Senor Julio knows what he has gotten himself into offering free tequila to this Mexican. I hope Don is there, because I'm making out with him behind the bushes.

There's a gift bag going out to the Hunk and Babe of the Badass Party, it includes a dozen hot tamales and a cabrito leg. See you there!

RSVP here: Do 512