Dickdar

I can't teach these things, sorry ladies.

Call it a gift. Call it my calling. Call it whatever you want. I call it the best faculty a lady could possess. It's called my Dickdar. It's like I'm a superhero with a big penis painted on my chest. In any situation, I can envision what a man's penis looks like &/or characteristics of his penis simply by looking at him. I am not saying this keeps me away from the weird and scary man meat out there. Sometimes I might forget about his lumpy, spud dick after a few good jokes and his sweet southern drawl, I'm powerless to those things, but I try to keep it in the forefront at all times. Here's what I mean:


**Disclaimer: Don't think for a second these dudes got any action from this hot tamale.**

Matchy pants. Somehow his penis coordinates with his outfits. He has the cleanest dick out there, no need for a condom.

Dorky dick. Predictable dick. Tries way too hard dick (in a bad way) when it has really no idea what it's doing.

Too sensitive Joe. Small, selfish penis.



"Tx State Royalty". I don't know if I can get through this without pissing myself. Watch your assholes, ladies. This average everything accidentally slips way too often. Drink a 5-Hour Energy before taking this on because you might suddenly acquire bored-to-death induced narcolepsy.



 North Austin dick. Lame. Boring. All head, nothing else. Abnormally large urethra.

Adult contemporary dick. If you put your ear to his dick like a conch, you won't hear the relaxing sounds of the ocean, instead there's a continuous stream of jazz solos with Christian undertones. This dick also spends way too much time in the mirror.