June 27, 2013

Summer Shower Jams - Let's Fucking Party


Drop the towel, lady.
Guys, I've found a new summertime hobby. It's one that incorporates all of my favorite pastimes: boozin', giggling, chatting, reading, writing, bullshitting, snacking. It keeps me safe and hydrated, and I look pretty good doing it (when, I say I look good, I mean I look ridiculous). Drunk sit-down showers are my summertime jam! I'm not talking about having a nice cold tallboy while lathering up - as fun as that is - no, I'm talking sitting my drunk, stumbling ass in a memaw chair and straight chillin'. Does this mean I'm getting old?

Laugh it up, go ahead, I'm serious. I found a shower chair at the Salvation Army on S. Congress yesterday for $8 (I talked them down $2 because one leg is bit wobbly). They had one more if you're feeling me and want to get in on this shower summer jam. I took that baby home and set her up right. If you see me out this weekend, I might be the person who will be talking to you but looking straight through you, daydreaming about going home to get shitty in my shower. I am getting old.

So, chances are if you call me and it sounds like I'm in a wind tunnel, or in my car, or near a waterfall, nope, it's just my drunk-ass is sitting on my shower chair shootin' the shit with you. What if I also tell you I put a cooler in my bathroom? I'm kidding! There's no way I would do that.
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