TUFF MUFF - DON'T SHAVE (NSFW - duh, I just said 'Muff')

Attention: Meet the baddest bitches in Austin!


In honor of this weekend's beard and mustache competition, Come and Shave It 8, brought to you by the good ol dudes in the Austin Facial Hair Club, I gathered some ladies who give the AFHC a run for their money.....with their muffs! Often a taboo, and mostly a misunderstood power tool, Muff doesn't always get the proper respect she has worked so hard for. I respect the muff, mostly I am envious of Muff with her self-confidence and versatile capabilities.

We all have our own thing, I get it, but some muffs don't even stand a chance! Ladies are burning down the forest without even so much as a heart-to-heart or a simple beauty school treatment. I'm here to give the muff a voice! Don't stifle the muff; talk to her, nurture her, then let her guide you through the maintenance process. At this time, and only at this time, should you get the greenlight to hit up Aisle 3 at HEB.

I understand some ladies might find it hard to get on board, but I am willing to bet that come swimsuit season, your extra puffy swimsuit bottom will add a bit of character. Hey, it might even flatter your winter taco body or residual SXSW ponykeg gut. (Note: I am a fan of both these body types, specifically the source).

Confessional: I feel so shamed. I've been chopping foliage in deep Mexico for years, all the way down Honduras and even over to Panama, if you get what I'm saying. I do, however, always show proper respect to my beloved Texas, she never gets the Bic. I want to applaud these ladies for not only being hot bitches, but having bigger balls than most. Hats off and a curtsy for these TUFF MUFFS!

Top-notch tattoo removal via Cut tool. #pro

Hooray for pheromones! Hooray for hot ladies taking charge! Hooray for MUFF!
DON'T SHAVE. See you on Saturday for all the hairy madness at Come and Shave It 8! Make sure you take your birth control and double bag everything on Saturday, the Mohawk will be up to it's ears in pheromones.

P.S. I love that I am now an advocate for the muff. I'm here, I'm queer-ish!



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