HUNKS OF THE WEEK

YES! I'm fucking starving over here. I have been on the man meat hunt all summer. Cruising the east side, south side, North Loop, pretty much everywhere except Round Rock (we all know the nonsense up there). During this Hunk vision quest, I came across not one, but TWO Hunks who are doing their thing at the widely popular and delicious, Qui restaurant on E. 6th St. Yes, TWO! Sure, we all love Paul Qui and what he is doing to our tastebuds, but who are the men on the frontline of these culinary-gasms? I want to know. YOU want to know.

HUNKS OF THE WEEK

This week I'm giving it to you where it feels nice and smooth. That place where you want to crawl up with a breakfast taco and a hot pair of tits. That warm place that drizzles tequila raindrops, and $1 pints. This is the place where work doesn't really exist, we all just float around clinking beer mugs and blowing kisses to each other. This is utopia. Welcome, The Austin Facial Hair Club, they are our Hunks of the Week!

Hunk and Babe of the Week - Update!

Love birds, Ceci and Zach.

Do you remember these two? She is a Babe, and he is a Hunk, and I brought them together back in November with my Hunk and Babe of the Week piece. Well, now they are now dating! That's right, after my little posting these two met and hit it off! They owe me their first born, and I'm cashin' in! Gimme that baby!

Hunk of the Week!

Austin dudes and ladies, meet this week's Hunk of the Week, Zach Blair of Rise Against! Zach is a local homie with a sweet face and a sweet heart. Check out his interview below, he drops some exciting news. Is there a Ramones tribute band in the works with him and some of the dudes from Riverboat Gamblers. Say what?! Sign me up, I'm there!! That is going to rule so hard. Ladies, give some wet kisses and tittie shakes to Hunk Zach.

Hunk and Babe of the Week - Couples Edition!

It's that time! It's rare I pick a twosome to represent the Hunk and Babe of the Week, but these two are so irresistible, they got me right where is feels good. Two great people, equally adorable, individually creative, and partners in crime. AND, they just got hitched. She is Autumn Spadaro-Cali, top-bitch photographer. He is Rich Cali, musician/painter. Together, they make a sweet, sweet couple, and help comprise hugely popular Common House (along with Adam Mendez, Conner O'Leary, Will Gaynor, Mike Combs, and Patrick Lillard).  He is also 1/3 of Volcom's own, Broken Gold.

Hunk of the Week!

I love old music videos, it's a shame they aren't what they used to be. Which old music video would you say speaks to you the most and why?

Stevie Ray Vaughn's Cold Shot. Really, all of Stevie Ray Vaughn's videos are hilarious.

Also, I love live footage videos from Cream and Deep Purple. I learned a lot of my shit from live footage videos. 

Hunk of the Week!

Name: Taylor Wilkins

Occupation: Guitarist/singer, Masters student, waiter, and owner of Otis the Destroyer

Single:  Eternally
Age: 25

Hunk of the Week!

Name: Rob Marchant
Occupation: Bass player in Riverboat Gamblers
Single: Yes
Age: 35

Hunk of the Week!

Name: Paul Waclawsky
Occupation: Musician in need of a day job
Single? No
Age: Old enough to know better


SXSW - Hunks and Babes - Wed Edition

Day 1 is down the tubes. I had a great time at the Liberty yesterday, lots of love to them and From the Mind of Adi for a great show. These are some snippets of the day, and the Hunk and Babe of the Party:

SXSW - Hunk of the Week!

Name:  Mike Wiebe
Occupation:  Musician/Writer (so I'm actually a bartender)
Single: I recently started dating Taylor Swift, but I wouldn't consider it serious. The main issues are our age difference and the restraining order.
Age: 36, but extremely immature

Hunk of the Week!

Hunk of the Week!

I've said this before, I'm a sucker for strong hands and quality man hair. Our Hunk, Drew, takes pride in his man hair and I applaud him for it. Ladies, if you care to stalk Drew or throw your panties at him, you can usually find him at Clive Bar, that's where I found him. Check it:

Name: Drew Mersinger     

Occupation: Designer / Barkeeper

Single:    Yes      

Age: 28

What is your dealbreaker?

I'm pretty open to most things, even the occasional flatulence is ok in my book. But there are two main things I just can't deal with: Not being able to look me in the eyes, and, the inability to hold a decent conversation. If you talk to me at least give me the decency to look me straight in the eyes. And, if I have to hear another sentence on who won last night's round on American Idol again, I will fucking shoot myself.  

What is your dealmaker?

Its actually pretty simple ladies. If you look me in the eyes and for a brief moment I see the sweet curling of your lips, I’m done, I’m yours, you don’t need to say anything else because, in my mind, I'm jumping for joy.

What do you love most about Austin?

The great summer weather! No, it’s the people who make this city great.  I interact with so many people every night and I still find and learn something new.  To give you an example, I was just relaxing at the bar and who walks in but Dennis Quaid. He can actually tell a great story or two.  I’m always happy to see Austinites attitude towards things.

Where do you like to hangout?

Clive bar… one of my favorite spots in Austin for a drink and to just hang out.

I love old music videos, it’s a shame they aren’t what they used to be. Which old music video would you say speaks to you the most and why?

There are so many old music videos that are truly legen- wait for it- DARY, but the one that will always be on the top of my list would have the be Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.  It is actually one of those things in life you really can't explain why, but I will still just rock out to the video and even sometimes rock out with white spandex on.

Who do you feel most akin to: Bruce Springstein? Lyle Lovett? Freddy Fender? Charo? John Wayne? Someone else? Why? 

Out of all the people you listed I am going to have to go with John Wayne.  Not just because I’m a movie buff and John Wayne fanatic, but mainly because the man had and still has a great presence about him.  A presence that I hope to achieve myself one day and I know that's going to be damn near impossible, but HEY a girl can dream.

Anything else we should know about you?  Fetishes? Arrest record? Bastard children?

I consider myself a nice guy.  Well, according to the world nice guys finish last and I have to say that is absolutely correct.  Since I’m not going to change, it's up to you world to get off your fat ass and put a little effort into changing.

HUNK OF THE WEEK

Name:  Ian MacDougall     

Occupation: Talent feigner

Single:    Nope

Age: 25

What is your dealbreaker? 
Girls with too much shit on their face. The current trend of dressing like an old librarian from the 70's. Ironic facial hair. Douche flair. Neck tattoos before 20. No socks. Flip flops on men in public. 

What is your dealmaker?
Brutal honesty. Quantum leap. Humbleness.

What do you love most about Austin?
You can be dangerously irresponsible and most of the time get away with it.

 

Where do you like to hangout? (so Miss Austin fans can stalk you)
Yellow Jacket, Shangri-La, Bouldin Creek Cafe.

I love old music videos, it’s a shame they aren’t what they used to be. Which old music video would you say speaks to you the most and why?
I really love Till Tuesdays 'Voices Carry' video. Mini soap opera. That guy she was with in it is a total fucking asshole. My favorite is the end when she rips off her hat and makes that dude look like a total dick. Fuck that guy.

Who do you feel most akin to: Bruce Springstein? Lyle Lovett? Freddy Fender? Charo? John Wayne?  Someone else? Why?

I really wish I was akin to Kurt Russell in Big Trouble in Little China…but I guess I'm more akin to Robert Downey Jr. in Less Than Zero.

Anything else we should know about you? 

I love the butt, jumped out of an airplane, and almost died a couple times.

Ian plays in the Riverboat Gamblers, one of the loudest and most entertaining bands in Austin. Love them, love the shows, love the dudes. Check out tour dates here:  http://www.theriverboatgamblers.com/.

HUNK OF THE WEEK

Name:  Stan A Rose
Occupation: Yellow Jacket Social Club
Single: No


What is your deal breaker?
Excessive cat keeping, anything high-waisted (with the exception of A-lines), smoking in abundance, weird tans, religious zealotry, excessive make up, uber hipsters, having no idea.


What is your deal maker?
A constitution so paradoxical, it makes for insta-boner, i.e. vegan/hunters, tattooed montessori teachers, etc... Folks that see things for what they are, keep their eye on the ball (even when they strike out), and freckles. Education, readers, finding beauty in the mundane, garter belts, thigh high hosiery, and a general propensity for wagging the middle finger towards established dictum.


Where do you like to hangout?
Yellow Jacket, Liberty, my couch, skate park, alley ways, and mine fields.


I love old music videos, it's a shame they aren't what they used to be. Which old music video would you say speaks to you and why?
The Fix "One thing leads to another", who wouldn't want to be in a psychedelic drain pipe with dobermans?
Huey Lewis and the news "I want a new drug" I watched it the other day, and it's so shitty it's amazing! That suit and the helicopter alone, would make it amazing.


Who do you feel most akin to? Usher? Bruce Springstein? Lyle Lovett? Freddy Fender? Charo? Someone else?
John Wayne; watch "Repo Man", for a detailed explanation.


Anything else we should know about you?
I fucking hate baby corn and bag pipes. Brother to the coyote.

Stan is co-owner of the Yellow Jacket Social Club located at 1704 E. 5th Street.  If you want to check out the hearty man meat above head on over for some great food, good booze and a kickass patio. The YJ is open daily from 11 am - 2 am. Check out their menu here:

http://www.yellowjacketsocialclub.com/

Hunk of the Week!

I'm a sucker for a dude with some quality man hair, I love it. Our Hunk this week takes pride in his, as he should. Florian not only looks good but he can make a gal a delicious drink. Yes and yes.

Name: Florian Minier

Occupation: Fancy Mustache Bartender at Haddington's
Single? Yes
Age: 25

What is your dealbreaker?

Techno music. Mostly just techno music. But maybe veganism too.

What is your dealmaker?

Fernet Branca, Top Gun, and old heavy metal videos are the three most misunderstood and under appreciated things in the world.  You should come over sometime and I'll explain them all to you in one awesome sitting.

What do you love most about Austin?

The babes.

Where do you like to hangout?

When not working at my own Fancy Mustache Bar, I like frequent the many other Fancy Mustache Bars this fine city has to offer. Exceptional mustaches can always be spotted at Peche, Bar Congress, and Eastside Showroom.  Also, when I want to feel anonymous I go to the Horseshoe Lounge.  Of course, I don't know why I would tell you that if that's where I go to be anonymous....

I love old music videos, it’s a shame they aren’t what they used to be. Which old music video would you say speaks to you the most and why?

Krokus "Screamin' in the Night". Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a post-apocalyptic world where I need to rescue my one true love from Dom DeLuise and then lightning strikes me and I have my awesome denim vest on again and then I'm in a diner with my bandmates and realize that it was all a dream--or was it?! Then I wake up for real and find that I was just sleep-walking again.

Anything else we should know about you? 

Check out my band, The Gulf of Michigan. We'll be playing a bunch the next couple months so keep a look out. Shows, info, and free tunes are all on our Facebook page (facebook.com/thegulfofmichigan) and our new album will be out late summer. 

Hunk of the Week!!

Name:  Fadi El-Assad

Occupation:  Rocker
Single?  No
Age:  32

Dealbreaker:  Eczema

Dealmaker:  Promises of acting work.

What do you love most about Austin? 

I love that a city can be so far ahead of the cool curve, that it's residents are confused as to what Hall & Oates shirt is still clever enough to wear to a friend's "mustache cocktail party."  Remember when irony used to mean something?

Where do you like to hangout? (So Miss Austin fans can stalk you) 

I tend to stick to bars and clubs that my friends own/manage/work at.  I find their policy on drunken crying much more lenient than warehouse district bars.

I love old music videos, it's a shame they aren't what they used to be. Which old music video would you say speaks to you the most and why?

The video that stuck with me the most as a kid was Michael Jackson's Bad. Mainly because after I watched it for the first time, I ran to the nearest store looking for a sequence glove to rock while I sang along at home (I really thought I was "bad").  But of course, what self-respecting convenience store carries fitted, sparkling sequence gloves?  All they had were oven mitts and work gloves.  So I ended up just being an idiot wearing one gardening glove grabbing my crotch dancing alone in the living room.  I'm not sure what my folks thought.  Maybe they just quietly left me alone, while going over therapy options.  As an adult, there is a video that I think about from time to time without any prompt.  It's Tom Waits' "Downtown Train."  It's all shot in black and white like a 50's noir movie.  It's genius.  I love it.

Who do you feel most akin to:  Usher? Bruce Springstein? Lyle Lovett? Freddy Fender? Charo? Someone else?

Usher.  Because I can dance real good. 

Anything else we should know about you? Fetishes? Arrest record? Bastard children?

I once hung out with a baby chimp named April, and was later told by a friend that "primates have diseases man hasn't heard of yet"  and that she would "snatch [my] life from [me]"  Thanks for the heads up too late, pal.

If you want to check out Fadi in action, go to http://www.theriverboatgamblers.com/ to see tour dates. Trust me, if you haven't been to a Riverboat Gamblers show, you must immediately. These dudes are loud, fun and you'll probably get hit in the head with a beer can. Gimme!

Hunk of the Week!

Name:  Patrick
Occupation:  Bartender
Single? Got a girl
Age:  31


What is your dealbreaker?
Is my girl gonna read this? Hrmm.. what should I write. How about the time a girl asked me to cum on her pentagram tattoo as she screamed effin murder during sex? Yeah, that wasn’t too awesome. I guess right off the bat I’d have to say that my biggest dealbreaker is someone who’s always annoyed. I got jiggy with this blonde chick I had been fantasizing over for a long time, and all she wanted to do was complain about how everything was annoying and walk her 14 year old dog that hated me and everything that came close to her. We took that dog out for a walk, and after the 20tth “that’s annoying” statement I finally asked her what she did like… her answer was “I like you!” Wrong statement honey, you don’t look that good naked.
Then there was the woman who slammed two wedges of lemons into my eyes after I hit on her.. again. Lemons in the eyes suck, dealbreaker. Oh and if you have a boyfriend but take it up the butt so he doesn’t get diseases (cause he doesn’t get to go there, as in “in the butt”), dealbreaker. But I’ve never met a woman like that only heard about them…. I only date proper ladies.


What is your dealmaker?
So I was done with the northeast at all ends, and sobered up. No booze, just work, draw, work out, repeat. I had stayed away from chicks for months, cause I wanted to just get out of NYC, and didn’t want to get stuck here. Then she walked in.. her dimples were friggin crazy, and when she sat down she asked if the basketball game was on, ordered 20 wings hot, jalapeno poppers, and asked what wheat beers I had in a bottle. Dealmaker. Instant. Love. I haven’t looked back since… she keeps getting better. Sure we may have to hit the gym a little harder than before when we hang out.. but who cares?! Friggin wings, sports and beer!


What do you miss most about Austin?
Besides the obvious friends and family and my dog?
Torchy’s. Torchy’s. Torchy’s. Bike ridin, followed by Barton Springs, followed by margaritas, followed by Torchy’s, followed by live music. Seriously, Austin you’re the best damn city in the world and I love you. Did I mention Torchy’s? Most of all I miss the bbq’s and patio parties. I grew up on the South Side where we have patios, and bbq’s occur… and usually live music, and a bonfire. North Austin can suck it.


Where do you like to hangout when you’re in Austin?
Donn’s Depot, Polvo’s, Continental Club, South Side Tattoo, The Liberty, Side Bar, Casino and Jackalope, Expose and Palazio. Sam’s backyard.


Anything else we should know about you? Fetishes? Arrest record? Bastard children?Probably got a lot of children.. but they’re bastards to me too as far as I know cause ain’t one showed up yet on my door. My buddy has a freak fetish for elbow skin, but that’s too weird for me. I’ve been arrested a few times. Those days suck. I like chicks, hot ones… T&A.

Hunk of the Week!

Name: Sean

Occupation: Waiter/ “Musician”

Single:    No way!

Age:  25

What is your dealbreaker?

Cat ladies…really??

What is that smell?

Wait, is that armpit hair?WHAT!?!

I once had a girl insist on me holding her dear pet tarantula...otherwise it wasn’t going to work out…I ran like hell..

What is your dealmaker?

You think I’m way cooler than I am..which is already really cool.

You don’t like lady blabla.. “even though she is a great musician”

The waiter comes by to take my almost finished plate and you say “oh he’s not done with that” and proceed eat what I couldn’t…and you still don’t get fat!

What do you love most about Austin?

That I am not considered a hippy by its standards unlike the small “good ole boy” town from which I hail. There is music everywhere all the time. Whether it’s the sweet, sweet serenade by Johnny UK of South Congress and whatever street corner you are trying to cross or the rock n' roll of Red River constantly fighting the noise ordinance…Its here to stay..so if  you don’t like it PLEASE go away!

Where do you like to hangout? (so Miss Austin fans can stalk you)

 If you’ve got a buy one get one free anything, I’m there.

Anything else we should know about you?  Fetishes? Arrest record? Bastard children?

No little Sean's running around!! Sorry Mom!

Hunk of the Week

Hunk: Kevin
Occupation: Event Coordinator
Single: No. Married
Age: 33

MA: What is your dealbreaker?
K: I once had a girl ask me if I missed my ex...DURING SEX! DO NOT DO THIS, LADIES! It's weird. Do not ask if I still love my ex (during sex). Do not ask if I miss my ex (during sex). Our afternoon romp was like pushing a sock up a hill after that, if you know what I mean. Damn it!

MA: What is your dealmaker?
K: A smartass. When I first met the woman who would eventually become my wife, she met me at a happy hour wearing a t-shirt that read, "I'm so happy I could shit". Are you kidding me? It might sound ridiculous but it made me feel special in all the warm places. I love you, sweetie!

MA: What do you love most about Austin?
K: The Creative Community. Don't get me wrong, this city is full of broke ass, lazy ass artists (it's cool, I'm not hating. Hell, I once made $12,000 in a year when I was "an artist") but South by Southwest (bitch all you want, it's rad) is a huge example of an Austin-born idea holding its own in the world. I also appreciate Austin's shameless love for light beer. Sometimes it's just too fucking hot to drink a beer that tastes like pumpkin pancakes and smells like oatmeal. You feel me?

MA: Where do you like to hang out?
K:  For a snack and drinks: Polvos on South 1st. Order a pitcher of margaritas and you'll be chain smoking in no time! If I'm feeling classy, San Jose. They close the bar at midnight, which makes me feel responsible. If I feel SUPER classy? Uchiko. Saki!!!

MA: Anything else we should know about you? Fetishes? Arrest record? Bastard children?
K:  I once had a tree jump out in front of my car while I was driving and eating a cheese burger. APD found me asleep on the airbag. They thought I vomited because the cheeseburger I was eating exploded in the car  when the airbag deployed. APD did not find this to be so funny. I watched ESPN and ate bologna sandwiches downtown that night. The tree got away.


**Red Alert!! These answers might just've gotten him nominated for Hunk of the Year! He's a stallion, he's funny and most importantly, he's loyal to his fillie. We love him. (We also met his wife, she's a Babe, duh. Look out for her bio shortly).