Hunk of the Week!

Name:  Patrick
Occupation:  Bartender
Single? Got a girl
Age:  31


What is your dealbreaker?
Is my girl gonna read this? Hrmm.. what should I write. How about the time a girl asked me to cum on her pentagram tattoo as she screamed effin murder during sex? Yeah, that wasn’t too awesome. I guess right off the bat I’d have to say that my biggest dealbreaker is someone who’s always annoyed. I got jiggy with this blonde chick I had been fantasizing over for a long time, and all she wanted to do was complain about how everything was annoying and walk her 14 year old dog that hated me and everything that came close to her. We took that dog out for a walk, and after the 20tth “that’s annoying” statement I finally asked her what she did like… her answer was “I like you!” Wrong statement honey, you don’t look that good naked.
Then there was the woman who slammed two wedges of lemons into my eyes after I hit on her.. again. Lemons in the eyes suck, dealbreaker. Oh and if you have a boyfriend but take it up the butt so he doesn’t get diseases (cause he doesn’t get to go there, as in “in the butt”), dealbreaker. But I’ve never met a woman like that only heard about them…. I only date proper ladies.


What is your dealmaker?
So I was done with the northeast at all ends, and sobered up. No booze, just work, draw, work out, repeat. I had stayed away from chicks for months, cause I wanted to just get out of NYC, and didn’t want to get stuck here. Then she walked in.. her dimples were friggin crazy, and when she sat down she asked if the basketball game was on, ordered 20 wings hot, jalapeno poppers, and asked what wheat beers I had in a bottle. Dealmaker. Instant. Love. I haven’t looked back since… she keeps getting better. Sure we may have to hit the gym a little harder than before when we hang out.. but who cares?! Friggin wings, sports and beer!


What do you miss most about Austin?
Besides the obvious friends and family and my dog?
Torchy’s. Torchy’s. Torchy’s. Bike ridin, followed by Barton Springs, followed by margaritas, followed by Torchy’s, followed by live music. Seriously, Austin you’re the best damn city in the world and I love you. Did I mention Torchy’s? Most of all I miss the bbq’s and patio parties. I grew up on the South Side where we have patios, and bbq’s occur… and usually live music, and a bonfire. North Austin can suck it.


Where do you like to hangout when you’re in Austin?
Donn’s Depot, Polvo’s, Continental Club, South Side Tattoo, The Liberty, Side Bar, Casino and Jackalope, Expose and Palazio. Sam’s backyard.


Anything else we should know about you? Fetishes? Arrest record? Bastard children?Probably got a lot of children.. but they’re bastards to me too as far as I know cause ain’t one showed up yet on my door. My buddy has a freak fetish for elbow skin, but that’s too weird for me. I’ve been arrested a few times. Those days suck. I like chicks, hot ones… T&A.