Mexican On A Juice Fast - Day 1

"Que es esto?"

What the hell was I thinking? I was talking to a friend of mine and she somehow convinced me I should do a juice cleanse. Yes, I drink copious amounts of alcohol. Yes, I gnaw on animals and their innards. Yes, I occasionally smoke a cig. Sue me! I guess I had a case of the guilts because I agreed to do it. She got in a bit. I phoned my father to get some clarity and words of wisdom on the subject.

"Que es esto, chingao?"
"It's a raw fruit/veggie juice cleanse."
"What do jou have for dinner, chingao?"
"Juice."
"Que es esto?"
"Veggies/fruit juice, Dad."
"..."

Then I went on to explain to him how I wanted to shock my system and reboot my body. He came back with a doozy.
"Jou're gonna shock a culture."

Good one.

Well, I feel like I had to get more team members on this idea of mine. I somehow convinced two of my other pals to try it. They're totally into it. I started yesterday. I finished today. I lasted ONE day. HA. I had to tell my friends I jumped ship, my system was too shocked, I was hallucinating. I had to quit. Besides, they're both white, they can do it. They'll both make it until Spring, no problem. Fucking Gringos.

I have an idea for a cleanse/reboot. I need a big styrofoam cup filled with Big Red (totally Mexican) and Sizzurp. I'd get on that train. Who's with me?

Mexican on a juice fast - Day 2. Done.