Watch Out For Rapists, Pedofiles, Creepers, Uncle Tios, and Nutty Web Cruisers

This lovely gentleman is not the man I encountered. Byron is innocent until proven guilty. Although, I'm not sure how that creepy as fuck mug is innocent.  

Goddamn it, I took the bait. I always thought I was so fucking smart. Nope. I was out walking my dog yesterday when a older gentleman pulled over in his truck.
"Have you seen a little brown dog just like yours, there?"
"No, sir, I haven't. Are you missing your pup?"
"Yes, he just ran off. That little fucker."
"Do you live in the area?" he asks.
"Yes."
Right after that little word came out of my mouth I could hear my father's voice in my head, "Estupido. Ju crazy, chingao. Now he's gonna rip out jur estomago, y psssshht (motions with his hands). Tripas tacos, chingao."

I listen to the gentleman go on about how he has had him for 7 years, loyal thing. They play, go for walks, hit Town Lake, and hey, he suggests our dogs should play together. Fuck, I am so weak.
"Could I give you a photo of him so you can keep an eye out."
"Sure" I say hesitantly. A lost pup, a sick pup, or anything to do with a pup, gets me. He got in.

Fast forward, I end up in his house! He goes to his back room. I am left standing there in his dark, dusty, coffin of a home. I start to look around. I didn't see a dog bone, a dog toy, a dog bowl, water bowl, nada. Oh, fuck. My eyes balls are moving a mile a minute. Panic. What the fuck am I doing here?! I bolt.

Now, I don't know if he was a creepy, old man who wanted to motorboat me then eat my intestines as tacos, but I thought it best I run. I don't even think I closed the door behind me. What if he really had a cute Easter photo of his pup with the Easter Bunny to show me, and I just ran out like a crazy person? Nah. I'm thinking he was going to come back and hand me a picture of his dong. I look up at him, he shoves a crushed up mound of pills down my throat, and I pass out. I wake up and he's eating tripas tacos. MY tripas.

There goes my usual walking route with my dog.

What I gathered from my afternoon stroll is creepy molesters can pull the heart strings to lure a 10 year old, or a 34 year old grown women, with a tale of puppy love. This is the worst bait out there. Teach your kids, parents. And, ladies who love fur balls - watch your intestines.