I was talking with my friends the other day about the tragedy of Lara Flynn Boyle's face. Remember Twin Peaks and how amazing that show was, and how beautiful she was? Man, what happened to her? I saw her on South Congress not that long ago with her husband and I couldn't stop staring at her lips and cheeks and chest ribs. Ok, that sounds a little crazy but I was standing above her as she was sitting, and I was able to look down her shirt. What?! Yeah, I fucking got a peek. Although there wasn't anything to look at, just starving bones. This is a true story:
Before
After
Next time you see me ask me to do my Lara Flynn Boyle impersonation, shit is right on.
So, I was thinking about treating myself to a Lara Flynn Boyle for Christmas. Huge tits is on the list, obviously. I need them to be so big, I can honk my horn while driving a la Rasputia in Norbit. New nose, new cheeks, new ears, new gums, new everything. Why the fuck not? Oh, I'm also gonna rip my eyebrows off and replace them with a smeared sharpie, fucking Chola n shit. Single file line, gentlemen. No pushing.
Are you sure that 'after' pic isn't really a pic Rocky Dennis' twin sister? Or maybe, it is LFB and she is preparing for the lead role in "Mask 2".
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