Austin Fashion Week - Back to School Edition

In honor of Austin Fashion Week, I've decided to review the back to school fashions of the 2011-2012 school year. For the most part, kid's look like pricks. Mom's, why are you dressing your children like assholes? Way to set your kid up for failure and a predisposed image that they are now going to have to fight for year's to come. If Junior wants to wear Dad's bolo tie with his He-Man t-shirt, let him goddammit. Don't stunt the creativity. Can you imagine the damage you are doing to his mind by pushing him out the door in Teva's to fend for himself? Fuck you and your parenting skills. You are doing massive damage.




DON'T. Congratulations, Mom, you got your wish. Your kid will never get his dick wet and he is forever going to live in your guest room. You did this.

 DON'T. Someone's Mom just opened a new shop on Etsy.com. Can't you just see her doomed future? Minimum three abortions. Overzealous bows are the worst. And, the chunky shoes? Five alarmer, I'm tearing up.

DO.  Casual. Comfortable. Functional. Thank you Mom and Dad for letting her look like she's going to have fun in school and actually read her books.

DON'T. Fucking gringo's. Thanks for doing anything to save a buck, Mom.  The two for one you'll-eventually-grow-in-to-those-shoes sale during tax free weekend could've been ignored. Poor Sally on the left is going to be tripping over herself in the lunch line. Come middle school, there will be no panties on under that denim skirt.

DO. I like this little runt. Her princess lunch pail is filled with snacks and she isn't sharing. Cute and comfortable from head to toe.

DON'T. When I was younger, my aunt took me back to school shopping and asked me if I wanted a "New Kids on the Street" t-shirt for school. I said I didn't because I didn't want to look like an idiot, so she bought me my first pair of checkered Vans instead, and jean shorts I later ripped to shreds. See, I've always been Miss Austin.**

DON'T.  Too much microwaveablele mac n cheese, not enough vegetables. This mom needs to be slapped in the pale face for repeating the pattern.  It already blows having to live in Round Rock, way to fuck with their heads even more with these lazy outfits. They won't even get felt up in the band hall with this shit. This pisses me off.

Go get 'em, kids!



**True story.