Quit Ruining our Swimmin' Holes, Hippie.

I am calling for some action here, my letter to City Hall is in the works.

I was at Barton Springs this past weekend, swimming, having a great time, when this pack of dreadlocked hippies (when I say pack, there were probably three, it just looked like a pack) swam by me. As they passed, I noticed a thick film on the surface of the water glistening in the sun after them. Live, flesh-eating organisms were just created and are now multiplying in the springs all around us. Do you know how much resin, old bong water, Whataburger crumbs, cigarette butts and pulgas have been trapped in that mess and are now creeping their way underneath my swimsuit?

I immediately got out of the water and hollered something at them with my fist in the air like a crazy abuelita, "Hey hippie's, why don't you all take a shit and we can swim around in it? Way to ruin our water!" I ask you, why the hell am I perpetually walking around with a doggie poop bag in my hand, cleaning up after my dog as to keep our city clean, but these degenerates are fucking up our summer swimming fun?

I'm pissed. Who's with me?!