Am I Turning You On?

I realize each person has their own thing, we are all freaks to some degree, but there are certain things a significant other can do that are not a turn on. Licking your own tit is one of those things. Dudes, quit asking for this shit. It's so awkward, funny yes, but awkward. The last thing I want to do when I'm naked with a dude is try to contort my body in the most sexually unappealing way. Yes, there is nothing hotter than that facial expression when one's neck is so strained you hear a slight grunt. The awkward extension of the tongue just to gently touch the eraser head. No. The only time this is acceptable is when a flapjack titty is involved. Flapjack's are so hideous and have given up on fucking that they'll do anything for a soft touch. Flapjack's are easy and flexible.

I am not a Flapjack.