I met this one dude who was very excited about some photos and wanted to show me some of his work. Great, I'm into it. I love shit like that. I gave him my email address and he emails me all of his images sideways. Oh shit, I got the giggles for hours. You mean to tell me with all the fucking technology we are living with today, you can't be bothered to rotate a photo 90 degrees? Two things, either you're too lazy to be bothered (No), or you don't know how to (Fail). C'mon, dude.
How many times can you say to me that you are in law school? I get it, you are really proud, as you should be. You're dedicating a dick ton of time and money to school but fuck, stop saying that. It's not making my panties drop to the floor, in fact, there is now a padlock around my waist and you do not have the combo.
Along those same lines, I met a dude who wanted to let me know his family has a lot of money. This fucker honestly said, "I'm rich." Gross. And, he said it more that once just in a different manner, "Well, my family is really wealthy." My blatant "not interested" facial expression was classic.
Lastly, this guy's an idiot, a lonely idiot, in fact. This dude was so obsessed with my ass or just asses in general, I suppose, that he would not stop talking about ass fucking and ass licking. Now, I'm no prude, as you all know, I can get into it, but Jesus your approach is all wrong. How can you blurt out a comment about ass fucking when it's 7 o'clock and I barely know you? My clothes are on, we're in public, and I'm sober. Bad, bad timing. No ass for you.
Dudes, please take this advice to heart, especially if you are aiming to get laid. The aforementioned scenarios are true stories with a sad, lonely ending. There was no unwrapping of a hot tamale husk, such a tragedy.
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