Never trust long cleavage. Any time I see a woman throwing this flesh in my face, I'm instantly suspicious. I hold on to my bag a little tighter, make sure I have my phone in my pocket, and check my fingers and wrists for all my jewels. The double whammy with this broad is she tries to distract you with her religious emblems. She thinks that piece she got at her local Fiesta market will cancel out the deception that lies in those chafing meat balloons. I'm on to you and my guard is up.
My mother called me in tears the other day because some asshole stole her wallet and ran up her credit cards. She was able to see the video footage of the incident. I asked her what the lady looked like, she made a motion like she was grabbing fat on her sides and said, "Ugh, es mucha lonja y chichi's es largo". (Lonja is slang for love handles, or muffin top). Oh shit, that gave me the giggles for days. She was so disgusted by that woman's long cleavage, she cursed something else in Spanish under her breath and zipped her purse forcefully.
Watch out for Long Cleavage and Lonja while you're out and about around town, those bitches can't be trusted, they'll take everything you've got.
(Just me, or does Lonja seem like a lovely name if not for the dreadful meaning?)
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