Last night I made the worst choice on the planet. I went downtown to Dirty 6th Street for a brief moment to meet a friend. Good Lord, that stretch of 6th Street should be burned to the ground, it is so obnoxious and filled with trash dumps masked as human beings. When I got out of my car, I went to pay for my parking at the station. As I am finishing my transaction, I hear a squeaky voice coming towards me. She taps me on the shoulder and asks, "Is that an ATM?" Pause. I am staring at her in awe. I look at the parking meter, then look back at her. Now I'm confused. I say, "No, this is a parking meter, not an ATM." I point to the big "P" on the side of the metal box. She smiles at me and says, "Oh! Are you sure?" I am so fascinated with her, I can't even speak, I just nod. She shrugs her shoulders and turns to walk off. Her sky high glitter heel gets stuck in the crack on the sidewalk, she stumbles and squeals as she walks off.
I love her. I need to see her again. I love that every metal box she sees she assumes is an ATM. I bet she gets real confused at the gym with all the lockers, or at the airport with all the metal boxes there. She just walks around trying to swipe her card in various slots. I want to hang out with her just so I can put her in a test tube to study. I would love to treat Test Tube Baby to a nice Holiday, I bet we'd be great travel buddies.
This girl might be the real Miss Austin. That bitch.
aaaahahahahahaha I was in tears eating my cream of wheat reading this one.
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