I heard a bitch scream outside The Grackle last night, "I don't care what you guys say, I'm having 4 tacos." Her emphatic FOUR resonated in my big head for the rest of the night. I don't know why, but that sent my imagination into a tailspin of gross, dirty thoughts. I hate that that was the last thing I remember hearing because I feel like her disgusting ass somehow crept in my REM.
Soft bodies are not cute or sexy. You know how you get soft bodies, ladies? By eating 4 tacos. I'm not advocating not eating tacos for God's sake, that's blasphemy. I'm saying if you're eating habits consist of eating like a trucker then you need to throw away your bike, toss your car in Town Lake, and rip up that bus pass because your ass needs to walk from here to San Antonio twice a day, chingao. And don't say stupid shit to me like, "But I had them on corn tortillas." Bitch, please. Soft is soft.
Soft bodies always remind me of Play-Doh. I envision when you're getting all sexual with a soft-body girl, you would hit the lights and see all your finger and hand indention's all over her body. Just me?
4 tacos = Play-Doh.
I call it apple sauce.
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