Back Ass Thigh

I feel like I am very honest on Miss Austin, we're all friends here right? Dudes, I am going to let you in on a little lady secret. All women are liars. We all lie through our fucking teeth to get what we want, or to hide secrets we will end up taking to our grave. Trust me, it's better this way, you don't need to know everything I'm doing, you might stab someone or me. Now, the biggest lie of them all is the deception of what a woman's body really looks like. Some broads surprise me by the lengths they are willing to go through to be perceived a certain way. Well, I am guilty as well. Hot tamales are supposed to be curvy and lovely and I'm just trying to keep up with The Lopez's. I think it is only fair for all you to know that my ass isn't really my ass at all. I think I have been doing a pretty good job keeping this up. Not one dude has noticed that my back is my ass is my thigh, it just kind of melts together. I am pretty fucking tricky when I have to get undressed. When the lights go out and I have to climb out of my ass lifter undergarments, shit gets real creative.

So far dudes have been none the wiser to my game and I plan on keeping it that way. You see the key is to create a diversion with the areola's (see previous post) because once I whip out my tit, dudes are frozen. I can pick his wallet, peel off these things, shove them in my purse and make a stout cocktail, no problem. Wait, now that I am thinking about it, maybe I should bust these out in some weird night moves scene. I put on Juice Newton's "Queen of Hearts" and just bend over gingerly to let him see the light. Dudes love the light.


Ladies, you with me? Please tell me I'm right. Dudes, don't think about it too hard, just don't trust vaginas.