Austin Summer Guide

Welcome to the surface of the sun. I can't believe how hot it has gotten so quickly. Have no fear, I am here to help alleviate the delerium associated with this good ole' Texas heat. Here's some of my advice for these summer months and remember to hydrate with a shot of tequila and a Torchy's fried avocado taco. Have fun. 



THIS...East 6th Street bars, NOT....West 6th Street bars.
Yeesh, I went last weekend to Molotov for a friend's birthday and I was disappointed with the meat selection. All the dudes looked alike! I realize this my personal opinion, but I like my dudes with a sharp tongue and a little dirt on them. Ladies, if you need to get some quick ass, I would hit West 6th St., the ratio is at least 10:1, great odds. Just keep your standards low.

Dudes..THIS...Natural odor, NOT....Cologne.
Yuck. Nothing says, "you can never stay over in my bed" like a mouthful of Drakkar Noir. I prefer the natural state of a man. Granted, I don't want B.O. so potent it makes me nauseous, but I love a little pheromone slipping up my nostril so I know what I'm up against.

THIS...Summer of no bra. NOT....Doubling up on the sports bras.
I am so fucking hot. This 100 degree heat calls for desperate measures. I guess I have to deal with weird stares from the guy at my corner store and my boss not being able to look me in the face, but that shit is worth it. Breathe! See if you can spot me on Town Lake as I am throwing in the towel on doubling up my sports bras. Bring a recorder, that is going to be some free Grade A porn.

THIS....Night swims. NOT....Day swims.
I am in love with midnight swimming. Nothing says summer lovin' like a midnight swim and a cold beer. If you don't have a pool, message me, I have a list of decent pools you could break into around the city.

THIS....Rose wine.  NOT....Bartles & Jaymes Pina Colada.
I am kind of obsessed with Rose and Riesling wines right now. Now, I am no Sommelier but I like to think I know a little about wine. The biggest misconception is that these two varietals are sweet, which is not the case. I am not a fan of many sweet beverages, if any. A drink recipe tip: I love rose and raspberries together. Either drop a few in your glass of wine OR if you're feeling real fancy, follow this recipe:
1 cup of your favorite Rose
10 crushed raspberries
3 tbs lemon juice
2 tbs agave nectar
4 tbs St. Germain elderflower liqueur
Stir and strain in two wine glasses and add a few raspberries for a garnish. THEN, call me so we can have some fun.

THIS....Takoba!.   NOT....Any other Mexican restaurant in town.
My favorite! I love their drinks, I love their food and I love their patio. I am a fan of any Mexican food where it doesn't look like slop on a plate and you don't leave feeling like you ate an elephant. The food here is fresh and tasty (they make homemade tortilla chips, love that), AND, it is in walking distance to East 6th Street bars. Done.

THIS.... Any footwear possible. NOT....The above atrocity.
I really can't stand platform flip flops. They're lazy woman shoes. Nothing says, "I want comfort but it's time to get my Saturday night on" like 4 inch foam flops with rhinestones glued to them. Put on them heels or just stay home.  

THIS....Cake Shake!   NOT....Wendy's Frosty.
Ok, so I'm not being completely honest, I still love a Frosty from Wendy's every now and again, however, I am in love with the Cake Shake at Holy Cacao (1311 South First in the South Austin Trailer Park & Eatery). Excuse me? You are going to grind up pieces of cake with ice cream? Yes, please. Also, I love that they give you fat kid, big straws with your shake so you may suck maximum gulps each try. YES.